TCHD HEALTH ALERT
FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE
Press Release # 016-08
Monday March 24, 2008
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HEALTH DEPARTMENT ORDERS TWILIGHT CITY EASTER EGG RECALL
Sixteen Infection Cases in Sobersville Prompt Recall and Standard Investigation
In response to numerous and widespread cases of bacterial infection, the Twilight City Health Department (TCHD) has issued a mandatory recall of Easter eggs due to possible contamination. The recall was accompanied by instructions to city medical personnel on managing such an infection. The bacteria involved are new species of the genus responsible for the majority of food poisoning cases and have not been previously seen in a clinical case. TCHD researchers have tentatively labeled the new bacteria, Clostridium lazarus. Patients may initially experience mild flatulence and runny bowels at onset. In the final stages of infection, patients experience slewing of and subsequent expulsion of the intestinal lining per rectum. "An intact intestinal lining is, as you might well imagine, an essential part of a healthy digestive system", said Dr. Maurio Gasparro of the Army National Guard Medical Department while busy assisting with stool cultures at Fort Howard.
"So far, it hasn't responded to any of the antibiotic cocktails we have thrown at it. Metronidiazole, Vancomycin, all the big guns. But hey, we always have a dose of Lazarix revival serum on hand.", said Dr. Maurio Gasparro
Categories of Health Alert messages:
- Health Alert conveys the highest level of importance; warrants immediate action or attention.
- Health Advisory provides important information for a specific incident or situation; may not require immediate action.
- Health Update provides updated information regarding an incident or situation; unlikely to require immediate action.