Whoa, what just happened? Edit

Okay, so, you may have noticed that you are now playing a game called Hell Rising. This game takes place in the all too real setting of Twilight City. This is a guide to help you survive in the game. This guide comes to you courtesy of Randomatic 3000 whose members will be more than happy to kill you.

Please hold while we redirect your call! Edit

In order for us to best serve you, we ask that you anwser the following questions:

0. Have you actually started playing yet? If you said no, then jump ahead to: "WHAT SHOULD I DO? OMGOMGOMG"

1. Did you join Hell Rising recently (within the last week?). If you said yes, then by all means, skip the rest of the questions and forge ahead! If you said no, then continue the quiz, please.

2. Did you start as a zombie? If you said yes, then read the section titled, now: "OH GOD WHY?"

3. Have you joined a group? If you said no, then please refer to the section titled: "HUMAN SHIELDS: A.K.A. Groups and Me."

4. If you are human, do you have a gun yet? If you said no, then jump to the section titled: "MELEE=FAIL"

5. Have you killed anything yet? If you said no, then jump to the section titled: "Let's stab something!"

6. Does it just feel like you're having a hard time of it in general? If you said yes, then jump to the section titled: "I HATE EVERYONE"

If none of those apply, then we can't help you at this time except to say this: Just stick your head between your legs and kiss your butt goodbye.

Now what? Edit

Now you read what I told you to read, ho.


Alright, so, you want to play this crazy game, but every time you try your fingers fall off, it's not a problem, this happens to a lot of good happy people. Today I'm going to tell you the story of a man named Bob.

One day, Bob started playing Hell Rising. Bob started playin as a Carpenter and died. How sad. How could Bob have behaved differently and won this game?

If Bob were to make a new human character, the following classes are acceptable:

  • Soldier-- Wow! Soldiers start off with a sweet gun, some useful weapons training, and extra ammo for that gun! If you want to start killing things right away, play as a soldier!
  • Doctor-- Doctors can get a lot of exp right off the bat by healing people! That's right, healing earns you exp as well as killing, and there's no way you can miss!
  • Vagrant-- Vagrants can find things way easier than anyone else right off the bat, meaning that you can stock up on nessecary supplies right away.

What about the other classes you say? Police officers are too much like soldiers, only worse. Convicts and Firefighters both use melee attacks, which suck. And we already talked about Carpenters.

But what if, Bob, in his frustration decides to be a vampire? The following classes are the best for playing vampire:

  • Feeder-- Extra damage to bite attacks mean more kills faster, and more XP, this is good since vampires get pretty badass once they actually get some levels under their belts.
  • Beast-- Same as feeder, except that it's for claw attacks.
  • Maniac-- Maniacs have an easier time of getting kills, because after a few successful attacks they get a decent bonus to attacking, making them more likely to get that kill.

Predator is kind of usesless considering how many easy kills there are to be had, and Carrier will get you no where at all in the beginning.

But what if, Bob, in his infinitely larger frustration decides to be a Zombie? Just kidding, that's covered in OH GOD WHY? Which is coming right up, so stay tuned!

Now that you're running around, there's a few things you need to do: #1 Get supplies. I recommend a Kevlar Vest (found at police stations) and, if you're human, some guns. Anything that heals is also a plus. Get WAAAAY too much of everything, because the first time you run out of something you need you'll be very sad and go cry and stuff. Then, find yourself a place where you'll be at least somewhat surrounded by people that are friendly to you, this reduces your chance of death a lot, then you can go out and kill people on your terms. If you're human, a Fort is......somewhat safe.


This section is strictly about zombies. Zombies are not a wise choice to start as, they are the group with the smallest number of players for a reason, THEY'RE HARD TO PLAY. The best advice I can give is to start as a human or a vampire, save up your EXP and level up as a zombie until you have enough skills to stand a chance.

"But little text friend, I've got all the skills!" you say. Well, you, the thing is that zombies are mythologically feared because of their huge masses and constant attacks. Since neither are implemented in Hell Rising, zombies are separated from their packs and shot. The cycle of your average garden variety fort zombie is like this:

10 AP spent taking down barricade, 3 AP spent finding enemy, 7 AP spent attacking enemy, 3 AP spent from dying/standing, 2 AP spent getting HP, 6 AP spent killing enemy, 9 AP spent attacking new enemy, 0 AP spent waiting, without AP, eventual dumpage/death.

So, you think, who cares? I regain AP, I can start again. Well, we've left out one thing in this cycle: some no-name humie has revived you. So, start again. But now the sequence looks like this: 6 AP to find a "building", 10 AP spent taking down barricade, 2 AP to enter the building and jump out of the window, 3 AP to get up, 3 AP spent finding enemy, 7 AP spent attacking enemy, 3 AP spent from dying/standing, 2 AP spent getting HP, 4 AP spent attacking an enemy, 0 AP spent waiting, without AP, eventual dumpage/death.

So your best chance is mass raids, as individually you are the stooge of the crowd, with a bullseye painted on your back.

HUMAN SHIELDS: A.K.A. Groups and Me Edit

We'll come back to this. You: No, wai--


If you are human, guns are your friend. No, scratch that. The Assault Rifle is your friend. And Shotgun if you have the patience beyond a drugged hamster. See, the assault rifle gives some easy power, and the shotgun is very much the same. The difficulty is that you have to search for your power, where the weaker undead have it built into their skins.

The one, ONE exception to this, is the machete, and various other weapons like the chainsaw and nail gun. The machete is a rare item that provides useful if you have it. It is equal to the undead, minus their obvious skills. And the chainsaw and nail gun are, quite clearly, because it's fun.

The gun is your friend because, as said in WHAT SHOULD I DO? OMGOMGOMG, you can start by just healing people. You cannot stay that way. One day or another you're gonna have to crack a zombie head, and you can't do that with a medkit. Trust us. You're better off killing people. Otherwise you'd end up as a wussy hippy pacifist. When you're killing people, you do less of the miserable pain of searching. Let me demonstrate.

• You find a Hospital Gown.

• You drop a Hospital Gown.

• You find nothing of interest.

• You find a Hospital Gown.

• You find nothing of interest. (3 times)

• You find a Hospital Gown.

• You drop some Hospital Gowns (2).

• You find a Hospital Gown. (2 times)

• You find a Scalpel.

You slice yourself for 40 damage. You die.


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